I have not studied society or psychology in a classroom but I have worked with the public for over 14 years. I have counseled individuals and families that have suffered from child abuse all the way to the family of murder victims. I have seen the great parts of society and I have seen the worse.
After speaking with so many people, and looking into my own life, I have noticed something. Every single person that has ever been conceived needs the love, attention, affection and acceptance from the two people it took to create them. When these are not met, it throws the balance of the person’s heart and mind off.
I remember, from the time I was very young, the running joke in my family was that I was not wanted by either parent; I was “the accident”. The feelings of acceptance were not there. I was wanted because I was there. Being the youngest of 5, the attention I received was minimal; I can understand that, but still…
When I was 14 years old, my parents divorced and went in complete different directions, leaving my sister and me to fend for ourselves. Now I have a two brothers and two sisters but the others were older so that the divorce did not have the same effect on them as it did on us younger two. It was as though I could hear both parents say, “You’re on your own kid”.
By the time I was in my 30’s the depth of pain had set in so deep, I had no idea it was there. The pain would manifest in me, but I had no idea what it was. I was depressed and incredibly anxious. Now, I hate depression and anxiety because I have seen how these torments can cripple am individual. I refused to be depressed and anxious, until one day, it hit me so hard that I could not get out of bed. I would cry out to Jesus to help me! I would pray and pray and all I would ever hear Him say to me was, “Son, come up here”. I had no idea what He meant, so I would just continue praying.
I would ask God to search my heart and tell me where it was hurting. As I prayed, different times of my life would come to mind. I remember Jesus showing me a picture of my mom when she was pregnant with me. She was so happy! I could see Jesus sitting next to her. He was so excited that I had finally been conceived! He had been waiting for me since He created the world!
I saw other images of different times of my life. The times in my life when I felt unwanted or abandoned. Each Time I would see these incidents, I would ask Jesus to show me where He was. Every single time, He would show me that, not only was He there, But he was there helping me, comforting me, protecting me, laughing with me, loving me! I could see that the depression and anxiety were manifestations of the pain of rejection and abandonment I had suffered at the hand pf two people I love with all my heart.
Finally in the time of my greatest turmoil Jesus spoke to me and said, “In my Kingdom, your mom and dad are your sister and brother and I am your Father!” The depression and anxiety broke! I could finally see that the parental responsibilities of my parents were shifted to Jesus! I then saw each of the pictures He had given me in my prayer time. I could see throughout my life, He had been there every day! He provided for me every need of Love, Attention, Affection and Acceptance. He is my Mother and my Father!
Now when I see my parents, whom I love and honor, I see them, in a way, as my siblings. Now if my oldest sister or brother and abandoned me or treated me the way my parents had, the impact on my life would be minimal because they do not carry the responsibility of “parent” in my life. I am fully able to forgive my parents, which frees my heart to love them with all that I am.
I am free! I am free to live and love! And I am forever grateful to my Mother and Father; Jesus!